I want to be helpful to my friends who are nervous about planning their kids’ Bar or Bat Mitzvah, so here’s some advice:

• First, make a to do list. For item #1, put a check box and write, “Procrastinate”. This way you can feel good that you are able to check one thing off your list.
• Also, when you copy one of those planning templates into your own to do list, wherever it says, “1 year before event”, “6 months before”, or “3 months before”, just go ahead and change all those to, “Now would be as good a time as any”. That way if it’s a month and a half before the event and you haven’t done the things you were supposed to have done months before, it won’t increase your anxiety.
• Most importantly, remember that the people who write these to do lists are masochists. So don’t buy into the idea that you’re a loser because you don’t think it’s great family fun to shop for shoes for a kid with narrow heels who doesn’t want a strap on her shoe. Because it’s not.
• Don’t remodel when you’re planning a Bar or Bat Mitzvah. It’s not like having your deviated septum straightened while you’re under anesthesia anyway getting your tonsils out, which might be a good idea. It’s more like giving birth without an epidural while being attacked by a swarm of wasps.  There’s no escape.

I’m going to be sharing more of my good ideas, so stay tuned.