Please read the following disclaimers:

1. Do NOT read this blog if you’re easily offended!  I’ve practically had a nervous breakdown making the transition from no blog to having a locked down blog that no one can see, to a blog people can see but no one knows exists, and from there to a public blog that people know exists.  If I know my audience is sensitive, I’ll be writing on eggshells, and that’s not a good fit for my “style” of writing.  So, all sensitive people please proceed to the nearest exit before it’s too late.
2. If you lacked the insight to realize I meant you in #1 above and now you are offended or hurt, that was really not my intent (but I told you so).  That said, the past is the best predictor of the future, so I beg you to go now and don’t look back (think Lot’s wife).  It’s not going to get better.
3. May I just point out that you’re a voyeur into my thoughts and feelings. If you don’t like what you see, you may leave at any time and peep into someone else’s window. If you stay, I will assume it’s because you enjoy this blog, in which case, Hip Hip Hooray!
4. I feel like I have to say this:  I’m exaggerating some (most?) of the time <gasp!!>. Maybe I will even get up the nerve to get out of my tell-the-whole-truth-and-nothing-but-the-truth comfort zone and make something up entirely.  So don’t get all worked up about how I’ve misrepresented someone or something, whether you, your kid, your school, or your president.  This is official notice that I’m allowing myself creative license to distort the truth for effect.  It might not have happened the way I wrote it, or might not have happened at all.  In short, everyone knows you are not as awful or crazy or annoying or fill-in-the-blank as I’ve made you or your mother or your doctor seem.  (If you’re still upset, please read #1 again.)